If Looks Could Kale Burger

The Moody Foodie critic finally comes to Bob’s door. Despite his family’s best/worst efforts to help, Bob’s nerves are shot when he makes a simple cheeseburger. The results are not to anyone’s liking — “overdone and dry.”

Sticks and stones may break Bob’s bones, but words will force him to yell at his family — and then everyone on the sidewalk. After a nightmarish dream about working in Accounts Receivable, Bob heads off to the critic’s house to make him another burger.

A hostage situation ensues, as Bob, the family, and some other Moody Foodie victims tie up and “food torture” the critic. Things subside, but not before a delivery guy gets paid off with $48 and Tin Cup on DVD.

In the end, a Wet Willy balances the scoresheet, and Bob’s restaurant gets back on track thanks to a great PR promotion by Cooper, Molyneux, and Juarez.

Before we get to the Burger of the Day, let’s get to the episode rundown:

Episode number: S02E07
Next-door neighbor: Grindecologist Coffee Shop
Vermin Vendor: Mr. Stompy’s Pest Control
Burger of the Day: If Looks Could Kale Burger

Review

The If Looks Could Kale Burger is an all-beef patty with Gruyère cheese, and roasted kale, on a toasted whole wheat bun.

This is an interesting recipe, partly because the ingredients work well together, but in great abundance. Take the picture above, and double the cheese and triple the amount of kale. After a couple of bites, Jill and I both paused and quickly added more toppings — are we a match or what?

The Gruyère cheese is creamy and has a nice little funk to it. The roasted kale, which is nearly drenched in olive oil and salt, is crispy and salty. It would even work as a “healthy” snack on its own.

Believe it or not, the whole wheat bun works really well. Usually, we find whole wheat buns to come across heavy, but with the bun toasted and fewer toppings on the burger, it all jives well together.

Only issue we have: it’s a little on the dry side (BUT NOT OVERDONE DRY!). Jill went with dijon mustard to add a little taste and juiciness. I kept it to the book, but realized later that mayonnaise would be the perfect condiment complement. Also, the cookbook includes a recipe for orzo salad — skip it altogether.

My initial ranking was a 3.5, but with the mayo, I’d definitely bump this up to a 4. So, let’s keep Bob’s blood pressure down and roll with that.

Grade (out of 5)